Should I send my kids to be with their dad when they just end up with their grandma?

Dont get pregnant again for a start. Doesnt sound like you have much control over your husbands actions so not a lot you can do till you stop breast feeding. Your husband sounds like a typical chauvenist male where he doesnt do much of anything and leaves it to the woman. You minding the kids and the doing all the housework. Surely you knew he was like this before you got pregnant twice.